Slipping Through My Fingers
by Firefly Knights
Summary: A songfic about Zexion's former life as Ienzo. Told from the point of view of his mother.


Disclaimer: What? This has nothing to do with the movie coming out and stuff…Okay…maybe a little. I decided to upload this because I was like…A MOVIE!?!?! So yeah, enjoy your ABBA songfic. Zexion and other people don't belong to me.

Feminine pronouns have been switched to male ones, yeah.

* * *

"Ienzo?"

I watched as he turned towards me in the doorway. He had grown so that he was a tad taller than me. How time flies…Time is always cold and cruel, forcing people apart. I didn't understand those words, but now I do.

"Mother?"

I smiled, because that's all I can do to let myself watch him through the door.

"Nothing. Be safe, dear."

_Schoolbag in hand, he leaves home in the early morning  
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile  
I watch h__im go with a surge of that well-known sadness  
And I have to sit down for a while_

He cocked his head to one side, a confused look on his face. But then he smiled softly, and walks out the door.

"You know how cautious I am, mother. I'll be fine."

_The feeling that I'm losing him forever  
And without really entering his world  
I'm glad whenever I can share his laughter  
That funny little boy  
_

I feel a tug on my sleeve. Looking down, I see Avila, the little angel of a girl. A worried look crosses her face as she looks up into mine. She seemed so wise for her small figure. I try to remember what it was like to look up into my own mother's face. I couldn't have possibly looked that intellegent.

"Mom?" she whispers, "Are you sad? Is something wrong with Ienzo?"

_Slipping through my fingers all the time  
I try to capture every minute  
The feeling in it  
Slipping through my fingers all the time_

"No, dear. Nothing's wrong."

_Do I really see what's in his mind  
Each time I think I'm close to knowing  
He keeps on growing  
Slipping through my fingers all the time  
_

Ienzo received high marks at the University, and graduated two years earlier than most students. He was scouted almost immediately by the scientists at the Castle. Ienzo had never liked the Castle. He was very young when King Ansem had arrived in Radiant Garden. Ienzo couldn't understand…did not want to understand why an outsider was their king. One morning, right after he was chosen to go to the Castle, he smiled at me across the table.

"Mother, I'm going to the Castle," he made a small flourish with his fork, "I'm going to do so well, that they'll have to make me some kind of high advisor. The Castle needs someone who still loves this world and the people who live here. Everyone loves the king, but I can feel that deep down, he doesn't love us back. He loves his research, not this world. I can't let him lead it."

_Sleep in our eyes, him and me at the breakfast table  
Barely awake, I let precious time go by_

I smiled back at him sleepily as Avila struggled to drink from a mug. I can still remember the smell of the coffee that morning, dancing through my senses as I listened to my son's ambitions. I could only listen and nod, but I felt his passion, his love for the world that he was born on.

_What happened to the wonderful adventures  
The places I had planned for us to go  
(slipping through my fingers all the time)  
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't  
And why I just don't know_

That one day when they all went on a picnic, the last day they ever saw Ienzo outside of the home. He seemed uncomfortable, almost bashful to be around his family. He kept looking up at the blue sky above, and went red in the ears when Avila took his hand to drag him into some game. I watched, perched on the top of the hill as they played tag down below. I could hear their laughter and the rustle of the tall grass in the breeze. They both looked up. They waved, smiling brightly. I wave back, but for some reason, I could feel tears burn in my eyes.

_Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture  
And save it from the funny tricks of time  
Slipping through my fingers..._

That night, I could have never have guess that it would be the last time I would ever see my son again. He came in, drenched in rain. The rivets of rainwater flowing down his hair, flooding into his eyes. Were they tears? If they were, I wish I could have brushed then away. His eyes were flashing with a kind of anxiety that I had never seen. He took a few seconds to make sure that both Avila and I were both at home.

"Mother," he said, out of breath as though he had been running, "Whatever happens…Don't…leave the house…Alright?...Just tonight…and…it'll be…over…"

"What?" I asked, touching his cheek, realizing how cold he was. I passed my hand through his hair, trying to understand why I felt so scared, "What happened, Ienzo?"

"It's…I can't…" he shook his head, water plopping to the ground, "Stay inside…Just…stay inside…"

_Slipping through my fingers all the time  
_

He bent down and kissed Avila on the forehead. The whole thing rushed as if he had to leave as soon as possible. He looked up at me. He seemed suddenly older, like an old man in a young body. His features had calmed, as if suddenly, everything in the universe made perfect sense.

"I have to go."

He turned and began running into the rain again.

"Ienzo!"

He stopped and turned.

"Stay safe…"

He smiled softly. The rain bounced off of him, outlining him in a white haze.

"You know how cautious I am, mother. I'll be fine."

He waved…

_Schoolbag in hand he leaves home in the early morning  
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile..._

And I waved back…

...

...

...

_Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling  
And a sense of guilt I cant deny__._

Zexion closed his book one final time as he fell through the darkness. His wounds melted away as tears floated off of his face. The abyss closed around him, slowly. Somehow, the dark felt warm, like something he had once felt at home, and had long forgotten. No one came from the darkness to meet him. He sighed happily. At least he could be relieved that no one was there, meaning that everyone he felt needed saving was still alive. He passed his hand across the book he was holding, rolling the memories of the two angels that had brought him this far through is heavy-with-worry head.

Avila…

Mother…

The darkness swallowed Zexion in one last wave, leaving the thick book to float alone in the dark plane.


End file.
